SXSW’s most insane cab ride. Ever. No, really.


Saturday started off pretty promising. The guys ducked out to pick up something from a gas station near to our motel, they trekked across the interstate to get there. I missed out, but apparently, while searching for a convenience store, they came across an all you can eat, 24 hour a day buffet and popped inside to get some help. They were greeted by a largish woman in…a clown costume.  Yeah.  And she was knitting.

“Y’all have a good feed”, as she returned to her scarf, or booties, or whatever it was that this lady was creating at 9:00 am in an all you can eat Texas buffet a stone’s throw from an interstate.

The second person they encountered in their quest told them that there was a convenience store a couple blocks away, but also felt it important to also an ominous, “But don’t go there, its dangerous.”

However, the guys went anyway. And fortunately it was all good. So maybe the guy was just confused, or thought it was nighttime, or something else. All good.

The rest of the day seemed pretty normal, we went to some presentations, learned some stuff, and met some people. The cherry on top of the day’s overall trend towards the strange came when we hailed a cab to go home to our hotel. This was much later in the day, after midnight.

So at some ungodly hour, like 3:30 am, we finally get a cab. A local friend was cool enough to call them for us and let us hang out eating his pizza. Our cabbie was asleep when we got to it, so we woke him up, got in, and started off on our way. He had a ponytail and some big glasses on and a beard. He was a bit scruffy but seemed pretty normal.  As we piled in we started with the standard sort of chat that one normally engages a cab driver in. Things seemed rather ok. For a few minutes, anyway:

“Where y’all from?”


“Oh, Canada. I don’t take Canadian money.”

“That’s ok, we’ve got some US money we can use.”

“Oh, good. ‘Cause I don’t take Canadian. Some people try to pay in Canadian, but I don’t take it.”

“Ah, ok.”

“I also don’t take Euros. No Euros. No Canadian.

“Well, Euros might be ok for you to take ’cause they’re worth more than US and you could trade them in and be ahead.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t matter. Europe will be gone soon.”

And all I could think was, ‘Here we go’, as I slid forward in my seat to catch what was coming next. ‘Cause I had a feeling. He continued on:

“Yeah, Europe will be wiped out. By a plague brought on by birds from the sky. 200 million will die. At least.”

And away we went. He talked about how the CIA, in the 60s, had sought out ‘supernatural children’, and had conducted experiments on them for 40 years. He went on and said that Obama was the creation of a group spawned by these super human children. MK Ultra he called it. A group, according to this crazy man from Texas, that was a merger of divinity and man. “Even greater than Jesus Christ”, he said. The whole thing was quite surreal to hear in a cab in Texas just before sunrise as it rained.

As we were pulling up to the motel, he started taking steps to make sure we’d remember the stuff he was telling us.

“Look it up. Put it in Google. MK Ultra.”


“MK Ultra. Look it up. What is it called again? Tell me back.”

“Uh, MK Ultra”

“That’s right! You’ve got a good short term memory. They haven’t gotten to you yet. The Einstein Brain. It was done first in the 60s with television. Invented by the communists. We use it now too. They reset your memory, every two weeks. Everyone’s memories. I just woke up two years ago, when they tried to kill me…”

He then yelled, loudly, “SOUND OFF!” and we all jumped a bit ’cause, well, we were pretty attentive to what this guy was saying. A bit nervous, I think.

Then he turned the light on in the cab, our eyes met in the rear view mirror, and he yelled it again,


He was wild and for a fleeting moment I wondered if he had a hand grenade, severe karate skills, or an assault rifle. He didn’t, thankfully, just some crazy ideas about what was real and what wasn’t real and very likely some unaddressed post traumatic stress disorder, or a pretty dedicated use of acid or worse.


3 Responses to SXSW’s most insane cab ride. Ever. No, really.

  1. Michele says:

    Was this cab driver suffering from a loss of touch with reality??? To put it politely. His demented rant seems like an amalgam of movie quotes, facts from documentaries on conspiracy theories and religious fanaticism. OK, so it is apparently true that the CIA created ‘Project MK Ultra’ to conduct mind-control experiments with drugs (I googled it like the man said), but how do one’s thoughts proceed from covert research operations to divinity, superhuman children and plagues of birds wiping out millions of people??? Psychosis, that’s how! Seriously though, the rampant culture of fear down there never ceases to amaze me. And to hear people profess their beliefs with such conviction is truly fascinating (and hilarious!) I would definitely have been entertained when he threw Russell Crowe’s ‘Gladiator’ quote in the mix, but maybe a little scared too. You should be thanking your lucky stars you got out of that cab safely…

  2. MK ULTRA says:

    The Cab drive was me, yes, that was me in Austin Texas.

    I didn’t have the time to tell in detail because of the the short ride. If I had time to explain then you would have a better understanding.

    I am one of the MK ULTRA children. Only in the last two years or so have I been able to speak in public about it.

    I was programmed from 1963 to 1969. I have operated all over the world. If you don’t believe me, then lets go meet people all over the world etc. I speak many languages etc.

    I have operated as a CIA officer for over 40 years not knowing I wasn’t.

    The operation in the cab was to seek out and understand the American mind- to understand what was wrong with America. I left a high tech job to do it. Yes, the crazy cab driver has over ten years university most at UT in cutting edge tech.

    Brain modification? At six years old I was given a drug to erase my mind. I had to listen to tapes as I slept.(once they made a mistake and I was awake when it started) by 8 years old the left side of my brain was damaged in an attempt to increase brain power- I believe the term is savant. Yes, I had my IQ tested at the university- the researchers were stunned- I was afraid they would find out about my secret.

    It was called trauma induced programming. The left frontal lobe was shut down.(I have managed to reactivate it using metal nanoplasma, if you are a scientist then you would understand the process)

    I will not release operational data about CIA operations because I do not want to undo what I have done. I brought peace to many parts of the world.

    The question is this, were you low lifes worth it- people who think everything is funny and when something like this is done to a child you think it is a joke.

    Why was it done? I had a black Nanny. My grandfather wanted to raise me the ole southern way, the plantation way, My step father and father/masons were right wing racist of the first order. First came the KKK, then the Masons, then FBI masons, then the CIA. It was horrible. They killed everything I loved.

    They killed my Nanny’s brother. They killed my grandfather. They killed my dogs. Later an Uncle who was talking, he was killed.

    They tried to take my mind, my soul at 6 years old.

    For me to wake up it killed me.

    I was killed as a child and then to wake up forty something years, it tore my soul out.

    I was in a phase when you wrote the above, of waking up.

    It must be noted. The KKK and FBI masons believed they were creating a Manchurian Candidate President, a push button robot they would control. The CIA tricked them, they weren’t interested in a robot president. No, they trained a mind warfare weapon.

    Many people believed I had supernatural capability. Some said I was Jesus etc. that is why I interested the CIA.

    I have operated for years in many parts of the world. I started in the East- China 1967-1979, the Soviets 1980-1992. USA 2000-2012.

    The robot was testing AmericanS in the cab. That was what it started as- a lab to examine the American mind. However, in 2005 I was telling a young man about my operations all over world. That I didn’t know why I did it. I told him I couldn’t remember anything 8 years old and back.

    He wanted me to read a book. I read it. It was about the MK ULTRA and children, Canadian Children, court hearings, congressional hearing, books written etc. I thought it was enemy propaganda. Then a month later I heard Alex Jones say MK ULTRA on the radio. I trust him. I decided to google it. I saw the hearings, congressional etc. books written etc.

    When I came to a transcript of a court hearing, part of my first programing was in it.

    I began shut down procedures to kill myself. I gasped for air. And then a slow process of denial and three years of finally saying, I am one of these children. I spent my entire life as a CIA officer.

    Again, what I have done for you, were you worth it? Look at yourself and ask.

    Now they make comedies about MK ULTRA.

    I became stronger by telling people in the cab. Many right wing, wing nut would laugh.

    The problem is this, there are people who know this is true who are still a live.

    Were you worth it? look at the East- is there not peace?

    Is there a Soviet Union?

    I did everything for you and you make jokes of me.

    Again, if I wrote operational data then you would have a better attitude. I can not, not because it would embarrass the US, no, what I did was good. I do not want to destroy my life work.

    I risk my life for you. I gave you over 40 years of my life. I did things you would refuse to do.

    PS how would you like Canadian money given to you and have to put up with that? After several times, you get tired of it.

    As for the Europeans, I remember you and I wasn’t in a good mood, THAT is why I said that. But the MK ULTRA thing is real as real can be.

    How would you like your mind erased and re-programmed?

    How would you like the left frontal lobe shut down?

    How would you like to spend your life doing for others who will laugh at your honor?

    Think about what kind of person YOU are.

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